sábado, 9 de janeiro de 2010


This is an update from the first article I have written about him.

With those articles I won't say I am telling you the truth but this is how I understood him, my thoughts, my conjectures.

From that article I have to say I became obsessive to understand him and then I read books about him like Michael Jackson, The magic, The madness the whole story -J.R.Taraborrelli, Moonwalker by Michael Jackson, Aphrodite JonesMichael Jackson Conspiracy, listened for many times those documentaries, watched his shows, video clips and met wonderful people through FB 'spage. MJ’s fans!

Few of you agreed with my thoughts and the others didn’t like it. But as I said those are my thoughts.

My researches became studies and then I decided to publish because through my studies I wanted to understand why I love him so much and why it was so painful to lose him.

Paying attention on what was going on after his passing I could chat with few fans and from time to time I’ve noticed we had the same feelings.

So I started to analyze myself and found out the meaning of MJ’s in my own life and of course the meaning of losing him. As an icon he represented so many things. And that’s the key to understand our link with him. Because as an artist he brought to us so many symbols which drove him to a position we all know! The King of Pop! When I understood that I felt relieved so I thought that could also help someone else. Just remember. Those are my thoughts!

I have to apologize because when I wrote the first article I haven’t read much material about him. So when I read a comment of one of the fans saying “look what she said about Chandler”. God you’re absolutely right! I am so sorry for that! After reading MJ conspiracy I have my understandings about it and cried because he suffered so much! But of course I do believe those “children” were manipulated by his mother/father, no doubt! Just later I came across to the understanding about Chandler and Arvizo. And all the conspiracy he suffered.

Here in Brazil the media doesn’t talk much about him so my sources were internet and books. So I believe you must be asking “how she can understand him without talking with him?” As I said those are my thoughts. When you read or watch something we have our own understandings. Doesn’t mean they are truth but they offered us a sense of comprehension. That’s the thing we call conjectures. Analytically talking we can say that!

After watching him performing on Bad, Dangerous, HiSTory, and so many video clips, my first thought when I said he kind of he divided himself in two even for the names he had Michael Joe Jackson ( for his personal identities, the man who went to the tribunal, and Michael Joseph Jackson (his father’s name Joseph, for his artistic side, the name he used to marry, to be a father and unfortunately to die. But this kind of thing happened as an escapism form not double personality.

His personal life, fragile, a man and a child, sometimes he might have performed as a mother, always a loving and caring father, ill, sad, very shy.

His artistic side, a brave man, with a strong sex appeal, shy? He even think about that! ;0) He could touch his genitals showing the big man was there, playing with girls all the time. The famous golden pants hun sisters???? :))

After the trials if you have read Taraborrelli’s the whole story you know he suffered, he was in pain, those who were close to him can say he closed himself, they couldn’t reached him.

Only his kids!

But if Michael was a kid sometimes, I believe he was fixed on the latency phase (6-11 years old) where the child believe on heroes, they have a group of equals boys with boys, girls with girls, they have a sense of honesty, they learnt how to socialize and then they can practice among them how to be polite with people, rules and laws and they take this seriously because they want to be recognized by the parents, they have as a reference teachers, his idols and of course the genitor with the same sex as they have. Those kind of things work on children’s behaviour to strengthened his sexuality.

For the stage, the adult had a phallic character (3 – 6 years old) where the child is discovering his own sexuality and then they find out the differences between sex. At this period of his own life he experienced things a child shouldn’t, like watching others having sex or understanding there is a betrayal from the father to the mother or vice versa. So he was a child he couldn’t use his sexuality so instead being perverted he threw it on the stage. Those kind of experiences developed his artistic side which make him brave, a strong man, a hero, a myth.

He also said many times he was Peter Pan on his heart. But unfortunately Peter Pan has Hook! So this story couldn’t happened without both performances. Peter Pan very innocent, kind, happy, all the very good things which comes to your mind represents Peter Pan.

But when we think on the Hook side. Gosh! Yes, so many bad things! Who was Hook? Tom Sneddon? Not only him! I believe all the bad things and all the bad person who have approached him represents Hook!

Peter Pan brings us the sense and the understanding of the fight between the good and the bad, the man and the child, the criminal and the innocent.

The story tells us a story showing us about his fight. When we watch MJ, what happened on his life? The whole world watched him fighting against the bad things and in the end of story Peter Pan wins. Goes back to his magical world.

And that’s exactly what happened with our hero, our myth!

He died unfortunately for us. But he won. After his death the media started talking much more about him, the world could watched his memorial and also the show This is it which supposed to go only for London, went to the whole world!

On this book I made a brief study about vitiligo and how this illness affect people’s life. including Lupus. And also I am making a personal question to MJ about this illness. But which make us thinking on his internal world.

An understanding about the magical world and the myth!

Well I won’t say anything else. The book will come soon! I also explore the issues which surrounded his death.

Those are my feelings and my thoughts. I wouldn’t like you to think I am the owner of the truth!

I just want to share with you this whole process and I though that would also help you to understand.


Your thoughts please ;0)

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